I read an article about what you do and don’t put on your on-line dating profile this week -- which is an interesting topic of discussion I also have with a lot of my clients in my divorce coaching practice. As they get back out there in the dating world they wonder how much do I share with my on-line dating sites? What kind of pictures do I put up? Do I really write what height I prefer, bald or hair, fit and active and must love dogs and kids??? The answer to all those questions is YES!!!
In my experience in the on-line dating world I would know after each date what I didn’t want and each time I would fine tune my search a little more to what I really wanted in my next partner. For example the first date I went on was with this beautiful guy at an amazing concert but when I met him I was taller than him with my heeled boots on. And if you know me I am not tall to begin with at 5’4”. Soon I realized I needed to know centimeters and that the guy had to be over 5’6” (168cm) at least for my preference.
Some other great advice I got from a good friend who encouraged me to try the online dating said meet the person soon after connecting to see if there is any chemistry? Don’t spend too much time on emails or text messages or phone calling. Some people are wonderful writers and talkers and will tell you what you want to hear. Meet them and see if there is any chemistry. If there is no chemistry --move on!!! This is so important and there really is no need to continue dating someone that you don’t have a spark with! You deserve it all and wait for it—it’s out there.
The other thing I would recommend is honesty when out on dates with your new prospect and trying to figure out if there could be a future with this person. Don’t settle and agree with everything they are wanting in their future because you think they are HOT. What do you want in your future? What does retirement look like for you? Funny thing with me is I don’t want to stay in Ontario for my future. I want to get back out to BC where I see my future and retirement plans so dating someone from here who has all his family and roots here would not work for me. I remember on my second date with my now fiancé and he said to me, “Sounds like you want to move back out to BC in the future?” I thought well this is the last time we go out because I was honest and said “YES I have been in Ontario too long and my heart and lifestyle is out west.” Little did I know he loved the west, his mom is from where I grew up and he would love to retire on a farm out west. This is all information that of course, was not on his profile on Match.com, but after a few more dates I knew he was the ONE!!!
Get out there and have some fun with this. You never know who is out there looking? I never expected to find the love of my life on Match.com but I did. If you need some help with your profile, deciding what pictures or information to share, or fine-tuning your search; please don’t hesitate to contact me.
I love all this stuff!!! Tara
Tara Fulop Conner is a professional coach with over 20 years of experience in health and wellness and a background in competitive sports. Helping others set goals has been a life long passion for her.